Eric Cartman: Alive and Armed?

Eric Cartman, popular animated character from Comedy Central's South Park.

In September 2008, an officer at a U.S. military storehouse in Kabul signed over more than 200 AK-47s to a Blackwater contractor named Eric Cartman. The exchange is singular for two reasons: first, military contractors are not allowed access to those weapons; and secondly, “Eric Cartman” is a “South Park” character. Indeed, no “Eric Cartman” has ever been employed by the company.

Remarkably, this incident is only one in a series of Blackwater scandals. Last week’s Senate investigation committee had their hands full addressing a number of charges against the contracting firm.

In addition to illegally obtaining hundreds of weapons that fall, a Blackwater subsidiary also hired violent drug users to help train the Afghan army. What’s more, a November 2008 e-mail from a Blackwater vice president brazenly declared, “I got sidearms for everyone….We have not yet received formal permission from the Army to carry weapons yet but I will take my chances.”
More alarming still, are the several security incidents associated with Blackwater personnel, including the 2007 shooting at Nisoor Square in Baghdad that killed 17 people, including women and children. Following the public outcry, Blackwater renamed itself Xe Services and overhauled its management.

But the overhaul of the North Carolina-based company did not subdue its lawlessness. Last May, Justin Cannon and Christopher Drotleff, two drunken Blackwater employees—again armed despite protocol—engaged in a tragic shooting. The men killed two Afghans, injured a third, and quickly inflamed anti-Western sentiment in the region.

Mark Corallo, a Blackwater spokesman, told the committee that management was taking steps to address shortcomings in the program when the shootings occurred. He further asserted that the men “clearly violated clear company policies and they are being held accountable.”

But considering Drotleff’s lengthy criminal record, it seems absurd that the man was hired by Blackwater at all. His three-year career in the Marines ended after seven unauthorized absences and multiple charges of assault and battery.

Cannon additionally has an alarming past. He secured his job with Blackwater after being discharged from the Army for going AWOL and testing positive for cocaine, although he later petitioned successfully to have his military records changed to an honorable discharge.

Sen. Carl Levin, the Senate Armed Services Committee’s chairman, is determined to find who is accountable for the gaps in oversight that led to these lawless incidents. He has declared that “Blackwater operated in Afghanistan without sufficient oversight or supervision and with almost no consideration of the rules it was legally obligated to follow.”

Still, Levin has stopped short of suggesting that Blackwater be ousted from working with the military overseas. At present there are over 100,000 contractors working in Afghanistan, apparently one chubby animated character included.

-Ellesse Sorbonne