World’s Weekly Blue Streak

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The Dead Snake Returns 

October 17, 2008: ZIMBABWE - This week, President Robert Mugabe catapulted the Zimbabwean power-sharing deal with opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai into stormy waters. Mr. Mugabe has declared that the ministries–conveniently comprised of all military and police forces–will remain under his control, in what has been hailed as “a giant act of madness” by the opposition. Mugabe has continued to cling to power through sham elections and a violent military campaign, and the move comes in the wake of three weeks of deadlock. In response to the heightened tension, the supposedly “dead” snake, otherwise known as the ex-president of South Africa, Thabo Mbeki, will be arriving on Monday to help mediate the crisis. Prime Minister Tsvangirai has agreed to give up the military, as long as he can retain police forces. In other news, the United States Ambassador has made it clear whom he supports, helpfully stating: “Do I play golf with Morgan Tsvangirai? That is not an allegation, but an absolute fact.” Phew, glad that one is cleared up. 

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Temples and Bullets  

World Heritage Site/Overly Popular Real Estate

October 17, 2008: CAMBODIA - The Cambodian and Thai militaries have agreed to a joint border patrol in the area where an armed clash left two soldiers dead this week. Tensions stem from the UN’s decision to let Cambodia make the Preah Vihear temple a world heritage site—prompting both countries to rush troops to secure the border. Thousands of Cambodian citizens living near the temple have fled away from the border zone, in fear of continued violence. Despite the clash being relatively minor, it has brought to light the difference in opinion between the Thai government and anti-government protestors. The protestors believe that the government’s stance on border control is too soft, although the temple officially belongs to Cambodia. Despite this opinion, Cambodia’s Foreign Ministry has claimed that Thai troops fired first with “heavy armed attacks.” Nothing like a tourism opportunity to make everyone go a little crazy. 

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BRIEFS (Not Boxers)

President Ilham Aliyev of Azerbaijan wins landslide vote in a rather iffy election

A Taliban spokesman has claimed that their militants are willing to talk if the Pakistani government ceases military operations against them. A better question: Do you really put “Taliban spokesman” on your resume when applying to Micky D’s?

Iraqi officials have called the $100 dollar barrel a “fair and acceptable” price for oil, and threaten to cut production if prices continue to fluctuate. 

Tensions have been steadily rising in Lebanon, fueled by sectarian violence

That country north-of-the-country-with-the-economic-crisis, cough Canada, is immersed in politics as the Liberal party attempts a rebound. 

And our favorite Somali pirates have decided to rethink actually blowing up the ship, having hauled aboard a couple more months worth of goat meat. 

Poll of the Week 

By Dana Liebelson